We are all human. We all get angry from time to time.
There is no use in denying it.

Buddhism philosophy can teach us a thing or two about anger.
Anger is considered one of three poisons,
    the other two being ignorance and greed.

We can never expect ourselves to stay in a constant state of bliss.
Eventually, we will experience anger.
We must learn to handle the anger with a new perspective 
    in order to overcome its poisonous power.

First, we must admit that we are angry. When someone asks you "Are you upset?" there is no use in denying it. Be with your emotions in order to let them go.

Next, look at yourself. You create the anger in your mind, regardless of any outer happenings.
You made a concious (or subconscious) decision to get heated.
Ask yourself why.
Why?

The ego loves anger. It helps you to justify those feelings, and even helps feed the fire to grow those feelings.
We must learn how to tame the ego.
Let those angry thoughts flow right out of your mind, rather than chasing after them.

Give yourself time to tame the anger.
Practice self-awareness, and pay attention to your triggers.

My mantra today:
I will pay attention to my emotions. I will react patiently and lovingly.

Do you ever have one of those days (or weeks) where you wake up in just a crappy mood?

Of course you do. Everyone does at some point. In order to find happiness, we must first look at our thoughts. The power of our minds to effect our behavior is astounding. It's easy to get caught in a negative rut- all it takes is running with one thought.

Whenever I catch myself falling into one of those "negative Nancy" kind of moods, I go on a quote reading binge until something speaks to me. Once I find a magical verse, it becomes my mantra. On one of these occasions, I discovered I had found a gem:

I had an "Aha!" moment. In fact, every time I read this, I have one. Really read each part and ponder on your thoughts. It's so easy to reminisce on the past fondly when something particularly stressful is currently going on. But are those memories clouded by your emotions? Are you leaving out the negative parts on purpose? Probably. After all, it makes the memories a little nicer.

And what about your life right at this moment? Common thoughts may begin with "I'll be happy when..." or "I need...". When stressed, it can be difficult to be grateful for what you have when you're busy focusing on what you need. You're alive, and life is short. Is it really that bad?

The future, if anything, is uncertain. A life-changing moment can be contained in a split second. This can be a scary thought, but only if you let it be. It all comes back to your thoughts! Uncertainty only means there are limitless possibilities. Think to your past, and those life-changing moments that you've experienced. You lived through every one of them, and came out stronger, with more insight to add to your life. What a blessing each experience is, whether it was painful or full of joy.

Getting caught up in certain thoughts is a dangerous habit that can break down your spirit. Instead, find your own thought "gems." Repeat them, write them where you can see them every day, and remember them in those moments of need. In this little way, you can find happiness now!

This year, my green thumb has gone MIA.

With a backyard the size of a bedroom, and just a few various potted plants, I assumed the summer of 2012 would be a piece of cake. More specifically, a no-bake strawberry chocolate cheesecake. Mmm.
I've recently realized the slight challenge that has been put in front of me- the only means to water the backyard is with my handy 2-gallon watering can and my kitchen sink. Oh joy!
At first, it seemed like there was no hope. With the grass already fried before we moved here, I was fighting an uphill battle. Watering can after watering can, grass seeds laid out before rainstorms... and I felt like my effort had gone to waste. Where was the green grass?!

With the house to myself and the morning still young, I went out to water once again today. Little sprouts of green grass poked out amidst the flattened sadness of grass past it's prime.

Growth of any kind takes time. We can't expect to yeild results instantly. This is a society built upon instant gratification, yet how can we grow when this is the case? True progress takes two things: time and effort. Through consistency, change occurs over time.

When beginning a yoga practice, many hope to achieve perfect, "advanced" postures within a week of practicing. Such high demands, for the majority, can only bring feelings of failure. One of the most important things to remember when working towards progress? Begin where you are.

In the beginning, the amount of time and effort put into something can feel like a bitter pill. Where is the fun in, say, watering that dead grass outside? If green grass was what you wanted, going to the park for a fix seems much easier. Have you set a goal to wake up earlier? Getting out of bed can feel like the most difficult thing in the world before 8:00 sometimes. It feels much better to press snooze a few times.

We must watch out for what is sweet in the beginning, because often it will bring bitterness in the end. Coming back home from the park will leave that same yearning for green grass. Rolling out of bed, another morning late, will leave feelings of doubt in your own ability to achieve your goal.

However, what is bitter in the beginning, often becomes sweet in the end. There is no greater feeling than setting a difficult goal for yourself, and then reaching it. It will take effort dug deep from within, and it will take time away from other, more desirable "instant" fixes. Looking back to see how far you've come from the beginning is only more motivation to keep moving forward.   

Just ask yourself this simple question: Do you want to live?

Then get out there. Set your mind to something, and achieve it.

Green grass, here we come!

(This lesson I learned from Andrejs, such a great teacher.) 



 

Good morning Monday, here I am. How will you treat me today?
Saturday brought trials, Sunday brought fire, so all I'm searching for is that little bit of peace.
The sun rose in the east with the intention of a new beginning.
Songs of inspiration and love play through my head, reminding me everything will be okay.
Patience, flexibility, and strength.
Draw deep from within, find the courage to cope that was once thought impossible.
Breathe in, breathe out.         

Pause.

Things are beginning to feel better already.

This morning, for the first time in awhile, I woke up and instantly jumped out of bed, put on my running shoes, and got in some cardio. I must admit that lately, I have been rather lazy. The month of May was eventful and all, but for some reason I felt trapped. What was holding me back? My own thoughts had me bogged down, leaving me grasping for air.

This feeling of being cemented into place dragged into the first day of June. I felt like I was doing all I could to propel myself forward, yet I was going nowhere. Worldy issues of money and the like was clearly clouding my judgement. I had an altered sense of reality.

On this second day of June, while driving along on my way to work, I knew something had to change. This change had to come from within. Someone really smart told me that I don't wear depression well. In fact, that it was quite ugly.

Oh, the ugly, honest reality! Truth will set you free.

The truth is, none of us wear depression well. Or anger, or loathing, or any other emotion of the like for that matter. Why do we cling to these? It may feel good at the time in some weird, twisted way, but all it's doing is holding us back. We only live once, why spend it wallowing in misery and hate?

It was time for me to wake up.

I needed to wake up, physically and emotionally, and pull myself out of whatever it was I threw myself in. There is only now. The present is one brief moment that quickly passes by and becomes the past. Let's make the most of these little pieces of now.

Wake up, put on your running shoes, and live! Put a smile on your face and make your life exactly what you want it to be.
The power lies within yourself.

Growth. Change.
Two powerful words that can sum up my first five months of 2012.

My journey this year began with Yoga Teacher Training at Shiva Centre, in Sugarhouse UT. What a beautiful, life changing experience that was for all of us involved. I studied under three of the most amazing teachers, met eleven other trainees whom I loved instantly, and gained a wealth of knowledge and love that I wouldn't trade for anything.

This training has come to an end, and I am now wrapping up the final ends of receiving my 200 hour certificate. How time flies! I already miss my weekend retreats to practice and absorb every drop of knowledge extended to us.  But where one story ends, another begins.

Now has come the time that I extend myself to the world. I wish to continue my journey by assisting others through their own. Growth and change are both mutual experiences between student and teacher. I look forward to being a mentor and having the opportunity to grow alongside my students.

Much love to Jami Larson, Andrejs Gailis and Brandi Allen. It wouldn't have been possible without the loving, nurturing, beautiful souls of the teachers I owe everything to. Thank you, times infinity.