This year, my green thumb has gone MIA.

With a backyard the size of a bedroom, and just a few various potted plants, I assumed the summer of 2012 would be a piece of cake. More specifically, a no-bake strawberry chocolate cheesecake. Mmm.
I've recently realized the slight challenge that has been put in front of me- the only means to water the backyard is with my handy 2-gallon watering can and my kitchen sink. Oh joy!
At first, it seemed like there was no hope. With the grass already fried before we moved here, I was fighting an uphill battle. Watering can after watering can, grass seeds laid out before rainstorms... and I felt like my effort had gone to waste. Where was the green grass?!

With the house to myself and the morning still young, I went out to water once again today. Little sprouts of green grass poked out amidst the flattened sadness of grass past it's prime.

Growth of any kind takes time. We can't expect to yeild results instantly. This is a society built upon instant gratification, yet how can we grow when this is the case? True progress takes two things: time and effort. Through consistency, change occurs over time.

When beginning a yoga practice, many hope to achieve perfect, "advanced" postures within a week of practicing. Such high demands, for the majority, can only bring feelings of failure. One of the most important things to remember when working towards progress? Begin where you are.

In the beginning, the amount of time and effort put into something can feel like a bitter pill. Where is the fun in, say, watering that dead grass outside? If green grass was what you wanted, going to the park for a fix seems much easier. Have you set a goal to wake up earlier? Getting out of bed can feel like the most difficult thing in the world before 8:00 sometimes. It feels much better to press snooze a few times.

We must watch out for what is sweet in the beginning, because often it will bring bitterness in the end. Coming back home from the park will leave that same yearning for green grass. Rolling out of bed, another morning late, will leave feelings of doubt in your own ability to achieve your goal.

However, what is bitter in the beginning, often becomes sweet in the end. There is no greater feeling than setting a difficult goal for yourself, and then reaching it. It will take effort dug deep from within, and it will take time away from other, more desirable "instant" fixes. Looking back to see how far you've come from the beginning is only more motivation to keep moving forward.   

Just ask yourself this simple question: Do you want to live?

Then get out there. Set your mind to something, and achieve it.

Green grass, here we come!

(This lesson I learned from Andrejs, such a great teacher.) 



 

Good morning Monday, here I am. How will you treat me today?
Saturday brought trials, Sunday brought fire, so all I'm searching for is that little bit of peace.
The sun rose in the east with the intention of a new beginning.
Songs of inspiration and love play through my head, reminding me everything will be okay.
Patience, flexibility, and strength.
Draw deep from within, find the courage to cope that was once thought impossible.
Breathe in, breathe out.         

Pause.

Things are beginning to feel better already.

This morning, for the first time in awhile, I woke up and instantly jumped out of bed, put on my running shoes, and got in some cardio. I must admit that lately, I have been rather lazy. The month of May was eventful and all, but for some reason I felt trapped. What was holding me back? My own thoughts had me bogged down, leaving me grasping for air.

This feeling of being cemented into place dragged into the first day of June. I felt like I was doing all I could to propel myself forward, yet I was going nowhere. Worldy issues of money and the like was clearly clouding my judgement. I had an altered sense of reality.

On this second day of June, while driving along on my way to work, I knew something had to change. This change had to come from within. Someone really smart told me that I don't wear depression well. In fact, that it was quite ugly.

Oh, the ugly, honest reality! Truth will set you free.

The truth is, none of us wear depression well. Or anger, or loathing, or any other emotion of the like for that matter. Why do we cling to these? It may feel good at the time in some weird, twisted way, but all it's doing is holding us back. We only live once, why spend it wallowing in misery and hate?

It was time for me to wake up.

I needed to wake up, physically and emotionally, and pull myself out of whatever it was I threw myself in. There is only now. The present is one brief moment that quickly passes by and becomes the past. Let's make the most of these little pieces of now.

Wake up, put on your running shoes, and live! Put a smile on your face and make your life exactly what you want it to be.
The power lies within yourself.

Growth. Change.
Two powerful words that can sum up my first five months of 2012.

My journey this year began with Yoga Teacher Training at Shiva Centre, in Sugarhouse UT. What a beautiful, life changing experience that was for all of us involved. I studied under three of the most amazing teachers, met eleven other trainees whom I loved instantly, and gained a wealth of knowledge and love that I wouldn't trade for anything.

This training has come to an end, and I am now wrapping up the final ends of receiving my 200 hour certificate. How time flies! I already miss my weekend retreats to practice and absorb every drop of knowledge extended to us.  But where one story ends, another begins.

Now has come the time that I extend myself to the world. I wish to continue my journey by assisting others through their own. Growth and change are both mutual experiences between student and teacher. I look forward to being a mentor and having the opportunity to grow alongside my students.

Much love to Jami Larson, Andrejs Gailis and Brandi Allen. It wouldn't have been possible without the loving, nurturing, beautiful souls of the teachers I owe everything to. Thank you, times infinity.